Allow Yourself to Receive

"If you are ready to be intimate, you will encourage the other person also to be intimate."- OSHO

I opened a new book today, “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other” by OSHO. I began reading and started underlining points I was connecting to to refer back to later. I got through half of the page when I heard, “Read it my love, RECEIVE, don’t study it. Read and receive.”

It brought me an awareness to look at myself immediately, to look within and ask inquiry questions;

How often do I do this?

How often do I do this to people, my friends, my family, men I’ve dated, my patients?

How often do I do this MYSELF?

I study people, their behaviors, their facial expressions, their pauses, their haste, their energy, their body language, their words. Why? My past self was afraid of you stranger, afraid of what you might say or do. How you might hurt me. But here’s what I know, this studying you thing, its my God given gift. I read you. You see, I’m not interested in your clothing brand choices or the kind of car you drive. I study you to know your heart. I don’t mean any harm by it, it’s just my nature. I study you to attune to the spaces you have left neglected, to listen to you. I know what you’re feeling just sitting in a room with you. Watching the way you breathe, the way you speak. Do you keep it on the surface or do you take me in to your truth? I study the way you walk, the way you talk. Do you look me in the eye? Do you feel your own emotions? Where are you struggling? Do you know who you are? Are you living the life you want?

I study to be of service to you. To know you. To love you. To bring peace to you.

I have heard that I am intuitive and have been walking around shaming myself for studying you. To study you is INTIMACY, IN-TO-ME-SEE. In to me see YOU, SEE YOURSELF. Your wholeness. Your light. Your beauty. Your strength. Your health. Your resilience. Your courage. Allow me to see you.

What if we studied ourselves like this?

This is our inner voice speaking to us.

This conversation is a truth I was hesitant to bring to this public space but side on being authentic and the REAL truth is, is that we all have a higher self who is craving for us to speak to it. To get to know ourselves the good, the bad, the dark, the light.

My truth is that I have. I have spent the last 8+ years studying ME. I have found my relationship with myself has radically changed since I began studying the way I think, speak, eat, sleep, communicate, relationship, move my body, BE.

What this has brought me is the greatest love story I could have ever asked for. IN TO ME I SEE ME, intimacy.

Intimacy cannot be defined as just sex. Intimacy is the act of knowing the self and the other mind, body, and spirit. Intimacy occurs through communication, quality time, act of service, physical touch, and self care.

“Everybody is afraid of intimacy-it is another thing whether you are aware of it or not. Intimacy means exposing yourself before a stranger- and we are all strangers; nobody knows anybody. We are even strangers to ourselves because we don’t know who we are. Intimacy brings you close to a stranger. You have to drop all of your defenses; only then is intimacy possible.” -OSHO

We all have unresolved trauma, no trauma is too big or too small. I am witnessing an array of stagnant energy in the world that is craving a solution to their discomfort. I can see people are getting curious about how to step out and speak their truth but don’t know how. I feel the conversations wanting to grow deeper. But FEAR, fear steps in and in the blink of eye they run the other way. It’s all so very okay to be right where you are.

Do you reach out to people for help? Do you ask a friend to spend time with you only to feel even emptier than you did before spending time with them? Are you hard pressed to stay busy all of the time because you don’t know how to feel your feelings? Are you buffering, distracting yourself with Netflix, TikTok, alcohol, substances, men, women, social media?

Well that discomfort, that emptiness, those distractions; that’s where the work is. Stay with it. Get curious. Ask self-inquiry questions.

We are in such an important time to have more meaningful relationships with ourselves. But we have to go within and start talking, journaling, singing, writing it out. Are you just going back to your pre-pandemic days? or are you seeing the bitter-sweet fruits that it bared for us all as a humanity to value ourselves, our families, our friends, and our lives and want to live a healthier more authentic life?

Allow yourself to receive the love and care you need from you first. We expect our friends, family, partners to be intimate with us when we can’t even be intimate with ourselves.

Get INTIMATE with YOU.

Say, “Self, how do you want your eggs in the morning?” or “Sis, what do you want to listen to?” or “Mijo, what can I cook for you tonight?” Give yourself a foot massage before you go bed. Whatever intimacy looks like for you, take that baby bird step.

As for me, I’m going to READ and RECEIVE the love and care this book desires to give me. The universe knows when I need a break from studying. It’s why I bought it in the first place ;)

Thanks for reading!

Abrazotes,

Ali